guest author – Monika Minnema

The truth about intimacy is, it looks different for everyone.

For some people, it is seriously one of the things that occupies the most mental real estate (pretty sure that is mainly men however). For others, its an after thought, something you remember you should probably engage in if you desire to keep some semblance of spark in your marriage. And for others still it is a painful experience, sometimes physically and sometimes emotionally.

Regardless of the category you fit into, I want you to know that there is something natural, safe and effective that can transform what happens in your bedroom.

Here are my top 6 favourite items to use to help add some spicy, boost confidence and take your intimacy to the next level, for both parties!


Now before I share my laundry list with you, I want to make sure that you are aware not NOT all essential oils are created equally. As the FDA and Health Canada have no standard of what you can call a pure oil, knowing what is in your bottle is safe, is of utmost importance, especially when I am referring to certain applications, in delicate areas. I am speaking SOLELY of using Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade oils, so doTERRA oils. Please be mindful of that when putting any of my tips and tricks into play.


Ok, so without further ado, my top six for sex:

#1- Ylang Ylang


Now, I will warn you, this scent is VERY floral, and is not one I would personally wear as perfume or anything of the likes, but what it does is really awesome!


My girlfriend was diffusing it once for her high blood pressure, and her husband was sound asleep, after a few moments of diffusion he woke up, sat straight up and was ready to get FRISKY! She messaged me the following day and asked if I knew if it was good for anything other than regulating blood pressure? I whipped open my oil guide and discovered it was certainly the culprit of her husbands arousal from his sleep. It is an Aphrodisiac! HELLO!


Other, great perks?


It fosters feelings of love and security and increases the libido! This is a BIG yes between the sheets for sure! Just pop a few drops in the diffuser with an uplifting oil and you are ready to go!


#2- Clary Sage


Clary Sage is widely known for its ability to help woman during menstruation, as well as a key player in hormone balancing, but did you know that it is also Euphoric and helps relieve tension? Well, yes please! As someone who struggles with self image and security in the intimacy department, I will not frown on some tension relief and help relaxing.


#3- Patchouli


This is one of my all time favourite oils! And not just in the bedroom. I love the earthly , musky smell. There is something that reminds me of my childhood, playing in the mud, as well as it is really calming, harmonizing, stabilizing and grounding. If you struggle with anxious feelings in the bedroom, have a past that leaves you vulnerable in this department or struggle turn off your mind long enough to enjoy yourself, than this NEEDS to be added to a bedroom diffuser before you start the foreplay. It is also known to help boost creativity, and I know after nearly 12 years of marriage, I can use a creativity boost for sure! It also helps to gladden and inspire, allowing for a more pleasurable experience.


#4- Cedarwood
I like to say that cedarwood is FOR the wood. Mmhmm, if you catch my drift. It is very, um, uplifting. ? Mixing with some coconut oil and apply directly to the shaft, will allow for some blood flow stimulation to uplift and increase stamina.
Enough. Said.


#5- Bergamot


Bergamot is a unique smell profile. It is a beautiful melody of citrus smells with an herbaceous undertone. The fruit itself resembles some kind of crossbreed of a lemon and lime. It’s top notes allow you to relax, be uplifted, increases focus and allows you release negative thoughts. Diffusing this at your bedside can allow you to feel more self acceptance, spontaneity and optimism. It pairs beautifully with Ylang Ylang and helps remove the powdery smell that it tends to emanate.


#6- Neroli


Oh Neroli. Beautiful, Beautiful Neroli.


This oil comes in a rollerball and I am so glad it does. I keep it on the counter in my bathroom for quick, pre-intimacy access. Apply it over your pulse points increases sex drive, desire and security in self. I call it the ‘Get the Engine Going’ oil.
If you struggle from a low sex drive. Neroli will CHANGE. YOUR. SEX. LIFE!


From Creativity, to Self Assurance, to increased sex drive, there really IS an oil for everything!!


If you are interested in learning more about essential oils, or would like my recipe for ‘Aphrodite’s Massage Balm’ head over to


To access use the password: heretohomestead
And click on the Blog Banner, and find the recipes drop down menu.


Blessings and Health,


Looking for more OILY LIFE Information? Check out her other posts:

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Monika Minnema

Monika Minnema

I am a homeschooling mother of 4 beautiful little girls. I have always been rooted with a seed of desire to help empower and transform the lives of other women. Through teaching others to nurture their bodies, renew their minds and empower others, naturally.

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