Don’t laugh but when I decided that I would be a stay at home mom … or at least when I was pregnant with my first son and I tossed around the idea a little, I actually thought that I would have so much free time.
I would be able to get all the things done with ease, just whirl around the house keeping it clean, I would be working out, eating right, and would have a social life.
I would be the freaking Mary Poppins of this generation, combined with the cooking and housekeeping prowess of Martha Stewart before her run in with insider trading and her stint on the “inside”, topped off like a cherry with the interior design and minimalism fundamentals of Johanna Gaines.
I would have it all!
With time to spare, so like I could craft, or read, or build a thriving business.
If you are chuckling because you realize that I was obviously on some acid trip of being a new mom, or you are sitting there thinking … wait … it isn’t going to be all sunshines and unicorns that toot rainbows … here’s the short of it.
I WAS WRONG.
Like so stinkin’ wrong!
I became a mother and with just one child, I was overwhelmed.
I had no time to do anything but stare at this tiny human being while trying desperately to decipher what his cry meant this time. There was no baby and me yoga, moms nights out, dates with my husband … I showered MAYBE once a week, brushed my teeth only if we were going out … the dishes stacked up and the recycling was filled with take out and delivery, I had no idea if it was Monday or September … there was no sense of normal aside from the Groundhog Day of motherhood.
Feed, burp, change, sleep and repeat.
I hate to tell you, more children didn’t magically create more time … it just meant more chaos, more demand, more feedings, burpings, more dirty diapers and spit up. It meant more demand.
More requirements, more need for structure, for a routine, for some idea of what needed to be done day in and day out … and yet … I opposed the schedule with the tenacity of a two-year-old who is refusing to finish the green beans.
I’ll tell you though, I don’t know if it is because I have actually GROWN in wisdom or just the fact that I am getting more forgetful in my old age, but I have come to realize and appreciate the need for a schedule, for a written document of sorts that lays out what the plan is for the day.
And I am not just talking about a calendar, like something fancy that you pick up at Indigo or Chapters, or maybe you are super swanky and you buy something crafty from Etsy. Not something just to jot down birthdays and the occasional vacation or holiday, I am talking like a daily planner that works for you and your family’s scheduling.
I’m talking chores, meals, appointments, EXERCISE, mom time, marriage time, individual dates with your children. Habits, successes, goals and the mundane.
A SCHEDULE that helps keep you focused on growth, that propels you forward with your goals, your health, your wellness. A SCHEDULE that reminds you that it is time to do the “deep clean” of the Norwex cloths or those tiny filters in your vacuum cleaner (ps – did you KNOW that you are supposed to clean those every month to ensure prime suckage).
So here’s the scoop:
Our family is working into a routine where we set our intentions the night before, what we will accomplish in terms of the chores, the online “businesses” the personal development, the health improvements and the commitment to a more modest budget with the introduction of my husband being home.
Both my husband and I have picked up day planners with a month at a glance and then weekly spreads of the days broken out by hours (mine is in 30 minute increments and his in 15s) we are testing out the theory that if you write your goals *as small as they may be* you are more likely to accomplish them. We are focusing on making the most of our time and ensuring that all the things that need to get done, get DONE. And we are testing a theory that I (as mom brain super scheduler and planner) require a more detailed and intimate planning solution than he does.
That being said, there are a lot of things that I like in a planner that he could really take or leave. I get it, tracking things, planning things, dreaming about things and adding so much colour it looks like a rainbow exploded on the pages is not exactly a guy gig … but … it’s my jam.
Finding something that includes all these things, ALL.THE.THINGS, is hard … almost impossible, and then finding something that isn’t so cumbersome, thick or bulky … well that adds a certain extra challenge. And so, I am on a quest to test out some of my favourite planners, agendas, goal driven thingies, and come up with a mom one that encompasses the things that I think matter, from working out the everyday schedule that we can actually STICK with, to being accountable to MYSELF with my postpartum recovery and overall health.
Which brings us to this post, I think so many of us struggle with the concept that we could benefit from a schedule for our homes.
It’s not meant to be restrictive and authoritarian, it’s not meant to steal the joy and the spontaneity out of your life (this sounds a lot like my post on meal plans LOL) it is simply meant to provide enough structure to your day that you aren’t wasting time wondering if you should clean your kitchen or the bathrooms today, to stop you from avoiding the garbage jobs or the ones you really don’t WANT to do to. the point where you get nothing accomplished and you are so tired from all the deciding that all of a sudden you are super irritable and ordering in Pizza for the third time this week.
So, what’s your MUST have in a schedule, in a planner?
What do you think you would benefit from or could have used?
What do you commonly find in a planner that you are like “now this is a COMPLETE waste of paper!”
Drop the comments!!!