Are you a morning person? 

Did you just snort your coffee out your nose while reading that, shaking your head like “MORNING? More like mid-afternoon-after-the-second-pot-of-coffee-hits-my-soul kind of person!”

Come on Cassandra?! 

Would it come as any surprise if I told you that I too, am not a morning person. 

Not since motherhood anyway. 

And it isn’t for any special reason that I love my bed so much. It’s not like the Endy mattress that we purchased last August raves so many accolades that I absolutely MUST linger in bed a little longer. The $17 pillows we bought from Wal-mart aren’t sealing the deal either. And it’s not the allure of a few more precious minutes snuggled up with my hubby. 

I am not a morning person, if I’m being honest, because I dread the start of the day. 

I dread the demand, the whining, the complaining and the fact that I am already behind as soon as I start. 

STINK, I am behind before I start. 

And I know, someone out there has a valuable tip for me like …

 

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“Hey Cassandra, if you want to be a morning person, set an alarm to get up before the kids!”

or

“Hey Cassandra, if you want to be a morning person chant I am a morning person seven times before you go to bed.”

OR

“Hey Cassandra, if you want to be a morning person just 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and launch yourself out of bed!”

^^ that last one is a tip from The 5 Second Rule *great book, but not the way to get most moms out of bed*. 

Truth of the matter is, and I think that this might be the way it is for most moms … it isn’t so much the fact that we aren’t morning persons nor that we didn’t get enough sleep.

It is that we are avoiding the noise. 

Who, in their right mind, would want to launch themselves out of the peaceful tranquility of their bedroom, their sheets and their fortress of pillows, into the NOISE? 

And hear me out here because I’m not talking about what you might think I am talking about. 

You see, I read *I devoured* The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. I enjoyed the thought that there might be a way for me, as a mom, to get out of my own way and Eat That Frog when it came to getting my mom business done. The washing, the cooking, the cleaning, the entertaining and educating of my children. 

I tried everything you could imagine, to try and start my day right. I even did it on the ridiculous amount of sleep offered to a mom of five under six who LITERALLY has not slept through the night in as many years. I tried setting my intentions the night before. I attempted to visualize what it would feel like to wake from my slumber rested and looking like Cinderella. I fricken’ imagined myself rising out of the bed without the struggle of not having any abs to speak of, stretching like she does in the movie as tiny little blue birds fly in through the open window and do my daily biding for me.  That may not even be how the scene plays out in the movie but it’s what I picture. 

I have even attempted to put into play the five second rule methodology where you count yourself down from 5 to 1 and you LAUNCH yourself out of bed. Like a rocket ship blasting off. You din’t allow yourself to think about whatever you’re avoiding. You just DO IT! Like Nike would say. JUST DO IT.

Just get out of bed. Just be happy. Just start your day right for goodness sake!!!

Why is it so hard?! 

And then I started to develop this theory, and I started testing this theory on subject 0 (on myself). 

What if my mood, my horrible starts, my avoiding, my frustration … what if none of it was because I have literally too many children to function on a normal level. What if it was because I was avoiding my addiction. 

Because my addiction was bringing me down. Was consuming my thoughts, my time, my everything. All with the guise of relaxing for a minute, connecting with friends, getting “ideas”. 

And so I began distancing myself from my addiction. 

I began leaving it behind, leaving it in my room instead of bringing it with me. I bought books and put them on every surface in our home, beside every chair, so that I had no safe place for my tormentor to sit and wait. 

And I started to notice that the noise dulled. 

No, my children didn’t magically lose their voices nor become amazing angles that never fight, scream or cry for no reason. 

But the noise, the whispers in my head started to subside. 

And I wasn’t consumed by the need to check-in, to update, to respond before my mind got a moment to process. I wasn’t flooded with “ideas” or inspiration. I wasn’t pulled in thirty directions before I even started a pot of coffee. 

You see, my addiction was consuming me in small ways. Picking apart my ability to focus on a task without contemplating if I should share it. 

It wasn’t until I started to ask what purpose these shares had, that I realized that my phone was the enemy’s death grip on my life. 

Begging me to play, to chat, to respond, to like, to comment, to share, to inspire, to pin, to try, to advocate… The list is literally never ending because there is no satiating social media. There is no end to the scroll, no shortage of opinions. It is a literal chasing of the wind. 

All the likes, comments, shares and “friends” amounting to nothing as soon as the phone dies or the Facebook server crashes. 

All the while, the children at my feet, the physical noise in my house, has been ignored, white washed by my lack of interest. Kids bouncing off the walls in a feeble attempt to distract me from my addiction. Fighting with one another because no one has shown them how to manage disappointment. 

And so I put the phone down. 

I left it out of my everyday and asserted that my business would have to grow in whispers. In creating something that would help other reconnect with motherhood without consuming my motherhood experience in the process. I set business hours with which I would write, post, share, connect and create. I would allow myself time to focus, to process, to plan and to execute with intention of quality service as opposed to “omni presence” on alll facets of the inter webs. 

I carved out time for things that were important, in order to protect what really mattered. My family, my sanity, my productivity and my JOY in this journey. 

And, let me tell you, God is GOOD. 

The joy that has come into our home in the few short weeks of breaking the chains is immeasurable. The amount of stuff we are checking off our To Do Lists is insane. And the quality of work we are putting together that is on the verge of being ready to launch is AW-INSPIRING. 

I share this because my LITERAL only tip for making the most of your life is to LIVE your life.

Be fully present in YOUR life. 

Exactly where it is right now. Embrace the imperfections, the quirks, the normal rhythm to a life uninterrupted by pings and dings. Remember that these people in front of you are the ones you have been trusted to connect with and they are of primary importance. So like what they are up to, comment on their activities, share your time with THEM and watch the enemy lose his grip on your motherhood journey. 

Reconnect and keep your eyes open for The Mom Dare: 30 Days of God’s Truth, Daring You To Get off Your Phone and Reconnect with Motherhood << PUMPED!!! 

 

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And the deeper pain set in when I recalled the last time I looked in the mirror.

I had just given birth to my daughter in our bedroom. I was tired from a week of hard, early labour and a very fast and intense delivery from my knees on the floor, I was overwhelmed with the thought that I had just brought a little lady into this world and I looked up as I was getting settled onto the side of my bed, baby in arms, and I was disgusted with what I saw.

It wasn’t the blood, the sweat or the fluids, it wasn’t the mess of the birth. No, none of that upset me. What upset me was the reflection of myself.
FAT.
UGLY.
TIRED.
OLD.
FEEBLE.

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Being a mother is hard! Especially when the world tells you to work as if you have no kids and to mother as if you don’t work.
Finding peace in the decision is possible.