guest author – Amanda Harper

Have you ever found yourself wondering why bother with this whole friend thing – it’s hard, it’s messy, I say the wrongs things (please tell me I’m not the only one who does that) and I’m done.

There was a point in this mom friend journey that I sat there and thought just that.

I spent a whole summer hanging out with my kids, maybe I’d go to the park if it was put out there, suggested by one of my mom friends, but I mostly felt done.

Done with drama.

Done with working “hard” at maintaining friendships, at play dates and coffees out. I wanted nothing to do with the effort, the tip-toeing, the trying to figure out what I had said or done to offend someone. 

I went into mombernation, a sort of hibernation that we moms do when the world seems like too much and you just want to be alone with your husband and your children, the people who know you and GET you. 

But guess what?

It really wasn’t that fun. 

I loved hanging out with my kids and my husband, don’t get me wrong but there is something special about chatting with a girlfriend that is integral to our journey in this season of life.

I swallowed my pride, put on my big girl undies and decided it was time to resurface in the mom friend world.

I slipped back in just as easily as before.

But here’s the thing about round two, it was different than before.

My friends hadn’t changed, I did.

I decided that I needed to stop being self-conscious and just needed to be me. I needed to stop internalizing all the thoughts and feelings, all the insecurities or doubts … all the needing to be politically (or mom friend) correct, and to start being REAL. I stopped letting stupid comments bug me and instead asked,” what did you mean?”

SURPRISE SURPRISE, people don’t really intend to hurt your feelings with ill-worded sentences, it’s just a part of doing life, of speaking quickly and of being exhausted all the time.

I could tell you story after story about the beauty of my mom community but I’ll stick to one because we are actually in the middle of this story but so far it’s my favourite.

My husband is sick, has been for awhile, as a mom you know that when your husband is down and out, you’ll man the ship just fine for a little bit but afterwards it’s crazy town, banana pants and you want a life boat or a piece of driftwood. Insert friends.

My word, my friends have come in like a military ship and they are getting things done!

I have had friends watch my kids, shovel my driveway, bring me more meals than I have freezer room and they are still coming. I’ve had so much prayer that I can physically feel it. I’ve had beautiful notes of encouragement, little gifts and so many hugs.

My heart literally overflows with love that I cry almost daily with unbelievable joy.

If it were not for my friends, this community, I would have been Jack, sinking into the ocean when I could no longer hang on to my driftwood. 

Friends, community is one of the greatest places to be and certainly one of the hardest BUT it is so worth the battle. There is something beautiful about inviting people into the chaos of your life and being welcomed into theirs.

I want to hear your heart, your hopes and dreams, the things that drive you crazy and everything in between. I don’t care about the size of your house, the cleanliness of your kitchen, or whether your kid sneaks (or is given lol) muffins for breakfast.

EMBRACE YOUR COMMUNITY and say, “Welcome to our chaos” there’s a pretty good chance, they want to say, “Welcome to ours too”.

The best part – this is only a fraction of community that God invites us into, only a portion of the love he envelops us in and He always wants to be in our chaos.

– Amanda

Amanda is an amazing wife and mother to three adorable children, she has a heart for home and glorifies our Heavenly Father everyday in her walk toward grace.